Well I’m back – January 30th

The thing about setting up a goal that is every day is that I have never done it. It’s hard to open time to do things. If this is of any self-consolation: I have been doing thankfulness exercises outside of the blog and I am not giving up on this, even though I neglected it. I think this, like healthy eating, doesn’t need to be black and white… just because you slipped and fell into a cake slice with your open mouth, well, that doesn’t mean you have to eat the whole cake and give up entirely on everything forever.

Today I’m thankful for I am a single woman again. Yes, yes, it hurts and yes, yes I’m biting my fingers not to text the man, after all I didn’t decide to do this BUT you know what? I was unhappy, he was neglectful and I am the kind of person who needs communication and sweetness. Might be cultural (tho, for a Latina, I am sometimes called cold), might be personality or the fact that I am actually ready to be stable and in a relationship, either way he was not pulling the weight and I am sad now but I know happy in the long run.

He just got out of a marriage (almost a year now) and his wife was calling him to cry over her next bf’s breakup. That’s not something I want to deal with. On top of that they have a work project together that was extended by half a year due to complications – That seemed fine to me but he was getting affected by this. Depressed, etc. Frankly, he wasn’t ready and I felt it from the beginning but, since he said he was, I threw caution to the wind and decided to go for it, only for him to discover that I was right and he was not ready. He apologized for throwing us into something way more serious that he was ready for. the breakup was about him not having time or the presence of mind to be in a relationship rn. He also had almost avoided breaking up with me face to face, that’s how little he could deal with me. I understand, in a way. Here’s the thing tho: I’m not a thing to be “dealt” “with” I am a wonderful, loving individual who was giving him her all, sleeping there all the time, putting nail caps on my cat and bringing breakfast to bed to wake him up in better moods and, in reality… well, he wouldn’t do (or have the energy to do) these things for me. He was not ready to be a team. This is without even mentioning how he’d broken up with me before instead of talking to me about what he needed. Which I find emotionally immature or, maybe lazy. So…

I am grateful today for my pain. I’m grateful for the capacity I have to think WHEW! I dodged a bullet even while feeling pain and the classic breakup void. Yes, my ego hurts, yes I feel fooled and like I did a trust fall and hit the ground… yes, I am embarrassed and kind of afraid to see him with a new GF rather soon and find out that he lied about the relationship readiness so he wouldn’t have to tell me he just doesn’t like me, yes to all that HOWEVER also yes to me understanding that when I get a feeling about someone I should follow it, no matter what THEY say. Yes to me saying, at the end of this year, that I wanted to eliminate anyone who would slow me down and people weed themselves out of my life with ease. Yes to this happening now and not a year in. Yes to me being busy rn and actually relieved I don’t have to worry about why he didn’t text me back all day… because now, as much as I would love it, I’m not EXPECTING him to… at all, and that’s a relief of sort, more and more as time goes by. Yes to all my single girlfriends who smiled a bit inside when I said I was available to hang out with them. Yes to feeling so wanted in OKCupid even tho I’m terrified. Yes to not wondering why my BF doesn’t ever sleep in my place. Yes to having a real good excuse to focus on my projects hardcore. Yes to not worrying about looking good for someone, even if it’s but a little bit, but, instead, entirely for me. Yes sleeping more, sleeping home more and not feeling like a terrible mom to my cat, yes to my nights of flirting and not worrying about whether we are seeing each other too much and whether I’ve abandoned my friends. Yes to me starting over, however many times it takes to get it right and be with a person that I love.

On top of that, as I mourn our incredible chemistry, attraction, interactions and Sunday leg tangling that’s so addictive… well, I see how he was light years closer to my ideal person than the last ex, and even more than the previous to last ex. I see myself, I feel myself coming closer to what I truly really want, the person for me. What I’m willing to take and not has become more refined and specific and I am thankful for that. This albeit painful experience is to be thanked, for I am now one or two clues closer. Yesterday I thought I was not going to be able to take it, not again, wondering if he’d come back… today, after thinking a lot, I feel that if he came back I would say it’s too late. Not out of revenge or pride or a false sense of empowerment because I’m weak but because my trust was broken and I’m thankful of my now higher standards.


Happy New Year!

A good reminder that we are all lucky to be in this life, alive!

cancer killing recipe

Whatever happened to me over this past year, I’m thankful for where it brought me. Because where I’m is where I’m meant to be.
And I’m happy that I Am.
And I’m thankful for every day of this Year.
The good and the bad ones.

My resolution for New Year: I WANT TO LIVE!
I want to be able to walk, talk and remember where I want to go and what I want to say… 🙂 !
This will make me very happy.

I make plans.
But I know, that every new day may bring new opportunities and new challenges.
So I will change my plans.
I will make decisions.
I will make mistakes.
I will live…
And be happy that I Am.

Thank you for visiting.

Have a Happy and Healthy New Year!!!
Pray for Peace.

God bless you all.


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January 10th: One Tries


Last night BF was depressed and I didn’t know how to act around him (since last time this happened he broke up with me). He wanted to sleep and fell asleep, I went to bed and kept studying scripts by his side and was sad that, for the first time, we didn’t cuddle or nothing. However, I woke up with an idea I’m so very thankful for: PSSST, PSSSST, BRING HIM BREAKFAST TO BED!!!! I had a feeling he’d be happy and that would send him onto this new day on the right foot. It did! It worked. Thank you, ideas fairy.


Only he ate, I left him all happy to have breakfast with my dad and his GF. I also got ready quickly to go to the first audition of the day. Hmmm that sounds so good! The FIRST audition of the day. So many days go by with nothing to do in terms of opportunities and here’s the day of two auditions.

My audition was for a simple part but, you know what? I felt really great about it again! If you’re tired of me saying that just know that it’s not always like that but this one was great. The casting director said they loved my job in a film I was in and that was so, so, so nice. I also ran into a friend and had a fun time at the lobby. GREATTTTTT. In case you haven’t been in a lobby b4 auditions: The air is usually thick and tensions and nervousness fill the air, there’s a process where I calm down and focus inwards so that none of this affects me, I’m mostly successful! But this time around? There was just a friend and fellow actor so no need for rituals, all fun and chill.

I’m also thankful for my second audition. I didn’t leave on a cloud, like before, but I DID feel very, very, very happy to have seen the CD that booked me in the pilot I did last year (coincidentally, the friend I found in the other lobby, earlier, was also in that pilot). I restarted a the living cheap book as well and that felt right.


During breakfast I introduced my dad and GF to the idea of living in Tiny Houses and they were very interested. Man, I want to live in my own place in the fields OR in NYC. I want some job to take me to NYC but also allow me to be here in LA about 4 months a year. Both cities would be perfect. Either way, for some reason, their interest felt like a victory.

I took some of the clothes I’d separated to sell/donate to Crossroads, try to sell them first the woman couldn’t speak clearly for the love of her and she didn’t buy any of my clothes, I think she was doing it on purpose. I know that I might have manifested this interaction, I kept thinking she was annoyed with me and also I got all fearful that my clothes might not sell. They didn’t. What you think, becomes. Sooooo, to clean that energy, I went to Goodwill and donated it all. I thought that, even though I could’ve tried to sell them at Buffalo Exchange, maybe this wasn’t what was meant to happen with these particular objects and I wanted to feel just better. I said a “prayer” of thanks and let them go. I came home to dine, my dad’s GF has been cooking and we had a healthy dinner. I also expressed to my BF that I want to be frugal and he understood. Well I said I was worried about $ and he asked if maybe us eating out too much was affecting me. I said yes, he said -got it *kissy face*- Nice! I’m trying to overcome the shame of just going/asking for what I need from people, specially when it comes to money.

Today, I spent it listening to a podcast on ADHD, which makes me feel suddenly normal and, listening to people’s experiences, I become waaaaay less hard on myself about things that turn out ADHD people commonly have. If your brain is wired like mine, I highly recommend it: ADHD Rewired


January 3rd: Fail is not in my dictionary

Yes, I’m back and yes I technically failed. My goal was to post EVERY DAY. But I did not write on the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th. Five days. However, this is not the place where I beat myself up, this is the place where I pick myself up.

So I will say what I’ve been thankful for these days:

On the 2nd, Monday I was thankful to go home and spend time alone. I was also thankful I fought with my BF about my belief in manifesting, because that made me realize that my beliefs are important to me, that I don’t want anyone in my life trying to prove to me that I think I’m lucky because I don’t have specific goals. I don’t have time in my life to explain to someone how I know I have the power. The million instances where I thought of someone and they showed up or asked for a specific thing and it happened. I have focused all my energies in making the same effortless power happen for money and career stuff.

On the 3rd, Tuesday I was thankful for my BF broke up with me and I not only remained calm but confronted him that night in an open mindset, ready to listen and accept and also to negotiate and see what was up with him. It wasn’t easy but it’s a far cry from the mid 20’s girl screaming WHY to her on-again-off-again BF. This time I saw him and listened to him, regardless of how painful it could’ve been. I’m also thankful we figured out what was happening. He was depressed and confused about his career and thought “I don’t want her to see me like this and I can’t give her time and energy when I’m this depressed, better to let her go” he was embarrassed and scared and I understood him. He was thankful for the talk and I was too and we did not break up at all. It was all a wonderful learning experience I’m very grateful for. I also got booked to do a Guest Star in a popular Sitcom, they booked me sans audition and I’m so, so, so grateful for that.

On the 4th, Wednesday I had a commercial audition (which I never do because I hate cattle calls) and, later that day, I auditioned for the main character of a sitcom. A scientist woman, of all things. Very exciting whether I’m right for it or not. I felt funny and good and I clearly worked this character. The CD was kind, laughing and also directing me in a clear way. I thank days like this. I love days where I do my thing and I do it right. I was also thankful my BF seems more in love than ever.

On the 5th, Thursday I mostly cleaned my apartment and made it father presentable. My dad and his girlfriend got in that day and I made the apartment go from World War dramatization to a parents-are-coming friendly apartment. I also slept at my BF’s and have since. I also was on the phone with my aunt for a long time while I was cleaning up, talking about clearing our energies about certain topics. Both of us have a tendency to believe in the lack of money and we discussed more positive thoughts we can have on the subject. It was very productive in terms of personal goals and bonding in our already like-sisters relationship.

On the 6th, Friday I went to the sitcom’s table read and it was a special event for them, press was going to be there so the studio provided me with a driver, a make up artist and FOOOOD. I was very honored to be the only non-regular cast member at that press panel. I looked great and was funny. That afternoon I had an audition where I got to submerge in a character totally different from me. A 70’s starlet who’s excellent at manipulation. Nothing I’ve done before, this was so thrilling. I felt great all day and like a real actress. Not just a theoretical actress but an actress who acts. even if it’s in that tiny room in front of one man and a camera. AHHHHHHHH I LOVE IT. My dad also got me pots and pans. I went to party with my friends and then had fun rest of the night with my boyfriend, overall a big success of a day.

On the 7th, Saturday, I had rehearsal for a play I’m doing soon. It’s about cabaret dancers, prostitutes and it’s meant to be at a small bar where you can interact with the tables/audience. I understood, during my meeting, that this was not going to be an easy role for me to do and I was thankful and inspired by that. I also got three books on acting and loved perusing around Samuel French, oh I’m a Tinseltown stereotype but I love it.I also hung with my girlsfriends at a dive bar and then had a bit of a drunk night (me, I was drunk) with my sexy man. Mmmmmm sexy man.

On the 8th we had a delicious breakfast, he showed me a project he created, directed and edited, a project I’m in. We worked together and it was pretty fucking cool. He was cute and nervous to show me, hoped I liked it. I loved it. It was so strange to see myself in his project way before we started dating, way before we thought about it. I was proud of him. He said I was so good in it and I believe him. I said he’s the kind kind of funny person that will generously laugh when you joke, without any kind of shame or mind-game about it. Unashamedly enjoying a person’s humor is his strength (harder than it seems) and I said that he always made me feel I’m funny, I’m the funny person I am. He really loved that compliment. Later that day he said I made him laugh so hard he farted… my favorite compliment. We also went to a street vendor’s fair in LA and got ourselves some deals, he got me a necklace. My dad spent the day in Venice with his GF and I felt free. His parents said hi to me when he talked to them and I felt happy. We had a dinner with 7 other like minded people, filmmakers and actors and what not but all of them relaxed, all of them funny, all of them interested, curious, engaged, awake, alive, lovely, polite, sassy! It was a wonderful dinner I hope I never forget. I’m so lucky to be surrounded by wonderful artists.



Yesterday, 12/29, was a weird day and today has been as well, however I already felt terrible guilt for not posting yesterday, even though technically it is not time to do it on the daily yet. That’s a good sign! Here’s today’s thankfulness:

I’m thankful that I have my car! I had parked it in a friend’s garage for the holiday’s break and, when I went to turn it on, it wouldn’t. Battery was dead. So yesterday I got AAA to come over and turn it back on. I also drove around LA smoothly and went to my BF’s to get my suitcase and my cat and took it all to my place. What a nice feeling to be in my home. I’m thankful for my own space, my cat certainly is too!! My BF’s car got what we think is stolen and I am very happy that I have my car. I’m currently in a situation where Ubering and spending $ is out of the question so having my car, specially full of gas, is a blessing! Thank you for my car, life. I moved seamlessly from home to errands. What a feeling.

Speaking of home: I have started decluttering!!! (in a serious way too). I’m making a bag for a yard sale and another one for donations. I’ve been reading the book You Can Buy Happiness (And It’s Cheap) from Tammy Strobel, Tammy and her husband reduced their possessions so significantly they ended up moving into a tiny house. I feel identified with their philosophy of not letting possessions own you, but instead, you owning your possessions and your life.


I’m thankful I started!! First with the boxes under my bed. Wigs for characters, props and costumes and hats and pantyhose drawer. I also kinda moved onto the kitchen and, mentally jumped over a cliff and decided to sell my guitar and beloved but unused bar cart. I’m so happy to see the bags of things that will be leaving my life. I also am happy to make $ from them. SO THANKFUL FOR THAT!

Work wise: Today I am performing! I’m playing a character in a comedy bit/themed show. Usually, for those, we do a one time thing and that’s that but today it’s three shows back to back AND it’s interactive theater too, which I never get to do and I’m pretty pumped about, it will feel like clowning and I love clowning. It’s nice to have a last group of shows before the year ends because I had fallen out of love with it a bit in LA.

I’m trying to get my meds right. I’m on Wellbutrin and I’ve been feeling numb. I ran out of the 150mg pills during the break and went down to 75mg to try/save some pills. Turns out I feel awful either way. What’s there to thank? OK let’s exercise this: I’m thankful for the awareness I have on my own conditions, I don’t know what’s the best course of action but I have noted things I can describe to my therapist! I’m thankful for gaining self awareness and being responsible to monitor my own feelings.


  • I talked for a while via text with my friend Dave, who’s in NYC. I really feel happy when we do.
  • My cat is happy and thankful!
  • I am having no trouble decluttering and saying bye to things, this is a radical change from who I used to be but a year ago, always holding on to things/lugging shit around.
  • I am in a mood for cleaning and it’s always appreciated.
  • I have money coming my way THANK GOD
  • I have ideas of places where I can get work and will be applying for work this next week!
  • I have so many things I can get rid of some and still be comfortable.

Habit, Habit, Habit (Skipable practice post)

Ronnie here! As 2017 approaches and I’m deciding to put myself through a huge undertaking that I’m absolutely not used to doing, I decided to start practicing and making the habit of writing daily starting now. This post ended up longer than I thought and it’s good to know. Bare with me as I find my pace and ideal length or wait until Jan 1st. OK to start, some of my goals with this blog are:

  • To get to appreciate the things I take for granted my health, body, family, clothes, water, car, my cat being the best, etc.
  • I’d also love to change my aversion to LA as a city and find things to thank for.
  • Something I rarely do is acknowledge my work accomplishments or good things I have going for me and I want to be Grateful Daily!

First of all, I want to learn to focus on appreciating  Los Angeles, for now it’s easy as LA seems to have been abandoned by, ehm, literally everyone because most people leave during the holidays, I’m enjoying the silence and lack of emails requesting dumb stuff, I’m enjoying the non-truck ridden streets and the ease with which I can move about. And, though I’m a winter fan myself, I’m enjoying the rays of sun that have filled my mornings since I got back from FL. LOS ANGELES, I WILL FIND A WAY TO BE THANKFUL FOR YOU YEAR ROUND!


On a personal note, these days my boyfriend is not going into the office so, although we are both being productive, for the first time we are both spending long leisurely mornings together, cuddling, having the ole sex, enjoying both our pets (I have a cat, he has a cute terrier, they are terrified of each other) and getting to have dinner with people we enjoy. I love seeing him work and planning meals together and I’m thankful that he’s in my life. Last night I was thinking he’s really a perfect match for me, not only our bodies fit like a 2-puzzle pieces set but we get along phenomenally.

Regarding my cat well, well, well this one is not hard to be thankful for. I am SO happy my cat is in my life. You see, I have the best cat on Earth (Before you hate, know that I’m aware of the poop toxin/brain thing). I had her since she was a kitten so you bet I know this lil ho, I rescued her when she was but a rat-sized rat. I never thought I’d get a cat, you see? I’m a dog person. But (and this is a longer story) I once, jokingly, told my friend that if I ever got a cat I’d like it to be a 1. Russian Blue because I find their blue grayness elegant 2. I’d only like a female and 3. It’s gotta be a kitten, so I can know/shape her a bit more. Less than two days later, our of the blue, my friend tapped on my shoulder and showed me a picture of a gray, female kitten, it was my cat and her twin Dory, she was on the way to adopting Dory and, randomly, offered me to take the other one. How did this happen? It was the cat I’d jokingly called my ideal cat, materialized in front of my eyes two days later. TWILIGHT ZONE! There’s more to this story and I’ll tell you about it in another post but I am SO THANKFUL that I got the exact cat I was looking for, not just in those external characteristics but she is MY ideal cat in EVERY SINGLE WAY.

Mina, my cat, and I have built codes of communication that we both mostly respect. I hold her and manipulate her body whenever without ever getting scratched, in fact I don’t even think she knows she can just go WAAAGH and Scarface me. I motor boat her belly (unheard of in cats) and carry her upside down around the house so she can get a different view of the objects she’s so used to. Despite getting weird looks, I walk her in my building’s yard with a leash and I groom her with a comb, frequently. It gives me and her great pleasure, I don’t want her to be my little slave, I want her to have a life. In exchange, she does a little specific meow when she’s done with me handling her, when I hear it I respect it and let her go, she knows this so, even if she might kinda try to go away, she truly only means biz when she gives me that exact noise. It works. Mina also has come up with a noise that I’ve only heard when she’s trying to get my attention, I assume this is the name she’s given me “TrrrrrrrRRR” (higher pitched at the end) I love that. She’s not a lap cat but she has taught me when and how to pet her, how to play with her and she knows how to let me know it’s time to eat in a gentle, funny way. It’s all so subtle with cats, all requires patience and mad observation skills, there’s a lot of mind games and I just LOVE THAT, ultimately the relationship is rich in non-spoken language that makes me feel so connected to nature and has taught me a lot about reading people and myself. She’s delicious and I love her and her poop toxins possessing me are the best thing that’s happened to me.

As she coexists with my BF’s dog these days, she’s been hiding most the time, with a little time to play when BF walks the dog. But today she came all the way to the bed (unheard of, since the dog sleeps with us) and even dared to play chasing feathers around the bedroom and near the bed. Later she hung in the living room and, the once terrified dog, invited her to play with a toy, she didn’t play but she didn’t leave or hiss either, she even seemed like she wanted to play so bad but her survival instinct was saying “not yet” it made my day.

Workwise, I gotta be honest and admit that I’m struggling to make this are work i this blog BUT here’s a good thing out a not-so-fun-one: I am having a bit of a hard time deciding what to focus on SOOOOOO… I can begin by being thankful for all the options I got in my creative life. As an actress I mostly audition but as a writer and creator I am free to choose from whatever my brain desires and that’s true freedom, the freedom of following my passion.

WOW this was longer than I thought, specially coming from feeling like I was not able to feel thankfulness. I just got really excited to go on this journey.


Bye 2016, I was ungrateful

Hi, my name is Ronnie and, like a lot of people, I didn’t feel grateful for 2016 but 2017 will be my biatch. Welcome to the Grateful Daily Blog!

Yes, there were amazing things about this year, there were! I can even say I had the highest moment in my career this year by far, a lot of family goals were accomplished and I finally got to live in a dream studio by myself, like I’ve always wanted to. But, to be quite frank, it’s been hard to even be, er to FEEL truly thankful for most things, because so much felt so bad. Why was that?

Partly because I let myself fall into the “This year sucks” conversation. More than that, I encouraged it and brought it up consistently, I made it a focus and GUESS WHAT? It miiiiiight have brought it about. This year I’ve decided to change that and not participate in “this sucks” conversations of any kind. Another reason might be the fact that I felt out of place, it was my second year in Los Angeles (a city I’m trying to like) and where I have never quite felt like I belong. Also, to quote the luminaire Kylie Jenner, it was a “year of realizing things” in terms of how LA works, specially in showbiz, which is where I move about. I’m female and I’m not white and LA is what I initially thought of as FUCKING BEHIND in terms of race/gender, not just in Hollywood but in social interactions and real life… however, after this election, I think actually LA is not behind but right on time with the “other” half of America.

Politics aside, there are other reasons 2016 was UGH: My finances were truly out of whack, I hemorrhaged money and no check seem to ever arrive on time or with the amount of money I had expected, I miss the change of seasons of NYC (and the fast pace, the straight shooters, the hustle that so makes me motivated, inspired and alive), I’ve been stressed about whether my parents would leave Venezuela or not and, overall, I realized a lot of what I thought were close friends …were not, I went through a rough breakup and this year, suddenly, I fell out of love the thing I’ve loved all my life, the one thing that literally kept me alive so many times… Performing. If you add this up it = WOOF.

For whatever reason, internal or external, I let 2016 run me over like a corn truck runs over the corn things in the field thingies (use your imagination to make my metaphor work?) and I ain’t about to let that same thing happen to me in 2017. So I created this blog as a way to flip the script, edit my life and, in the end, find peace and happiness, which is what we are all here for.

Please join me as I thank 2017 on the daily. Here are some of my self-imposed rules:

  • There will be a post per day. In case something happens and I can’t post, I will make it up so, at the end of this year, there will be 365 posts with 2017 dates.
  • There’s no limit of the things to be thankful for but I must be thankful for a least one thing per day.
  • Pictures and links will be encouraged whenever possible, but I’m OK with this just being a written word blog.
  • Complaints, crankiness, negativity can take a hike, because the name of the game here is POSITIVITY, THANKFULNESS & YES! 2017 is the best year.
  • I will share inspirational links and stories that other people post that I consider pertinent to the Grateful Daily Blog
  • I’m allowed to add rules as I discover how to do this but the ones above this line are NOT movable!

OK, thank you for reading and stick around!! I’m remaining accountable for myself but, when all else fails (and I know myself, it might sometimes) I will remain accountable for you, my reader friend.