It’s completely on brand that I didn’t post my thankfulness from Jan 11th the day I went to the psychiatrist to talk about my anxiety and ADHD. ADHD is this way I’m wired where I forget everything and remember everything at the times that is less needed but.makes.sense.to.me.
I’m very thankful I got my doctor, I went in for anxiety and depression, at the time I’d been having panic attacks (I think as it dawned on me that I now lived in a city I didn’t like and where people seemed… just extras in a movie) and, almost immediately, she determined I was ADD and that treating it would take care of the rest. I tried to argue it but, know what? She was right AF. I’m a fiddler and consistently moving, I lose track of what I’m saying, have no sense of time and numbers, they are an abstract lie to me. Maybe if I wasn’t ADD I’d be better with money and I’d be on time. If you ask me how long a task will take me… I’ll basically say a number while secretly make fun of you for thinking you make any sense. It’s a little bit Alice in Wonderland in here. Except that, to me, it makes sense! What DOES NOT make sense is the way things work. Bills, all at a different date, all at different numbers. And why do cents exist? Round that shit up. Anyway, I’m thankful for her. She is trying to figure me out and has been really kind about it. She has actually forgiven me for a couple of no-shows. In a book, later, I discovered therapists know ADD people tend to be no-shows so, they might be kinder to them? She’s great and, though I’m medicated, I know she is really concerned about my health.
I’m also thankful I went to Mimi Lazo’s show that night. She’s an Internationally recognized and awarded actress from Venezuela and, in her 60’s, she is doing a monologue in English for the first time ever. You gotta fucking admire that. That is amazing. I was so impressed by her. A star is a star in any language and country and, as hard as starting over can be, specially later in life, she didn’t bat an eye, she just charged ahead. Fucking amazing.
LA’s rain is lovely