12/30/16 FINDING GOOD

Yesterday, 12/29, was a weird day and today has been as well, however I already felt terrible guilt for not posting yesterday, even though technically it is not time to do it on the daily yet. That’s a good sign! Here’s today’s thankfulness:

I’m thankful that I have my car! I had parked it in a friend’s garage for the holiday’s break and, when I went to turn it on, it wouldn’t. Battery was dead. So yesterday I got AAA to come over and turn it back on. I also drove around LA smoothly and went to my BF’s to get my suitcase and my cat and took it all to my place. What a nice feeling to be in my home. I’m thankful for my own space, my cat certainly is too!! My BF’s car got what we think is stolen and I am very happy that I have my car. I’m currently in a situation where Ubering and spending $ is out of the question so having my car, specially full of gas, is a blessing! Thank you for my car, life. I moved seamlessly from home to errands. What a feeling.

Speaking of home: I have started decluttering!!! (in a serious way too). I’m making a bag for a yard sale and another one for donations. I’ve been reading the book You Can Buy Happiness (And It’s Cheap) from Tammy Strobel, Tammy and her husband reduced their possessions so significantly they ended up moving into a tiny house. I feel identified with their philosophy of not letting possessions own you, but instead, you owning your possessions and your life.

tumbleweed_tiny_house-main

I’m thankful I started!! First with the boxes under my bed. Wigs for characters, props and costumes and hats and pantyhose drawer. I also kinda moved onto the kitchen and, mentally jumped over a cliff and decided to sell my guitar and beloved but unused bar cart. I’m so happy to see the bags of things that will be leaving my life. I also am happy to make $ from them. SO THANKFUL FOR THAT!

Work wise: Today I am performing! I’m playing a character in a comedy bit/themed show. Usually, for those, we do a one time thing and that’s that but today it’s three shows back to back AND it’s interactive theater too, which I never get to do and I’m pretty pumped about, it will feel like clowning and I love clowning. It’s nice to have a last group of shows before the year ends because I had fallen out of love with it a bit in LA.

I’m trying to get my meds right. I’m on Wellbutrin and I’ve been feeling numb. I ran out of the 150mg pills during the break and went down to 75mg to try/save some pills. Turns out I feel awful either way. What’s there to thank? OK let’s exercise this: I’m thankful for the awareness I have on my own conditions, I don’t know what’s the best course of action but I have noted things I can describe to my therapist! I’m thankful for gaining self awareness and being responsible to monitor my own feelings.

MISC THANKS:

  • I talked for a while via text with my friend Dave, who’s in NYC. I really feel happy when we do.
  • My cat is happy and thankful!
  • I am having no trouble decluttering and saying bye to things, this is a radical change from who I used to be but a year ago, always holding on to things/lugging shit around.
  • I am in a mood for cleaning and it’s always appreciated.
  • I have money coming my way THANK GOD
  • I have ideas of places where I can get work and will be applying for work this next week!
  • I have so many things I can get rid of some and still be comfortable.
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